Letters From Me
by Siriusly Hilarious
Summary: Bellatrix is sentenced to life in Azkaban, and Narcissa promises to write her. A look at the letters from one sister to the other.
1. Two Months

_**This was inspired by a good friend of mine who I love to RP with. She and I got to talking about how our characters felt during the 14 years Bellatrix was in Azkaban. Being the writer I am, I let my Cissa character take over and I sort of became her. The result is the following set of letters from Narcissa to Bella over the eldest Black's long stay in the Dementor-infested hellhole. **_

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I sadly don't own Bella, Cissa, Lucius, Draco, Azkaban, or really anything you recognize. <strong>

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><p>My Dearest Bellatrix,<p>

It's been two months since your trial and I still cannot believe you're truly gone. My mind simply refuses to accept the fact that I've lost you to that horrid place, that you aren't here with me, keeping me sane. It all seems so surreal to me, like this is just a dream and that when I wake up, you'll be there laughing, telling me that I'm just a silly bean having a nightmare. I can't believe you're really gone Bella.

What am I supposed to do without my sister, my very best friend? Lucius seems to think that I'll just snap out of this, that I'll find something to distract me from the complete sense of loss I'm feeling. But nothing makes me smile anymore, since everything makes me think of you. Keep your head up and remember that I love you and need you to be okay so you can come home to me, okay? I'll write you again soon, just as quick as I can.

Love forever,  
><em>Cissy<em>


	2. Six Months

**Disclaimer: I sadly don't own Bella, Cissa, Lucius, Draco, Azkaban, or really anything you recognize. **

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><p>To My Darling Bellatrix,<p>

It's been far too long since I've written you and for that I'm so terribly sorry. I can scarcely believe it's been six months since you were taken from me, since that horrid group of old fools took away the one constant in my life. I've been trying to come to terms with it, but it's not really working out so well. I mean, one day you're here blowing up peacocks and teaching your nephew how to properly hold a dagger, and the next day you're gone, locked away for life without the hope of ever getting out. I can't wrap my mind around that.

Draco's grown so much in the past four months, it's actually quite amazing. You'd be so proud Bella; he killed his first house elf last week. Granted, I wasn't too terribly pleased with the fact that my three year old seemed to remember those dagger lessons and had no qualms about slicing up that creature. But the whole thing made me think of you and I spent hours in the gardens sobbing while Lucius tried to clean up the bloody little mess that was your nephew.

I'll write again soon, okay? I love you Bella, just stay strong.

Love always and forever,  
><em>Cissy<em>


	3. One Year

**Disclaimer: I sadly don't own Bella, Cissa, Lucius, Draco, Azkaban, or really anything you recognize. **

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><p>My fabulous and dearest Bella,<p>

Today is the one year mark of the day my world imploded. The day the Wizengamot took you from me was the day a bit of my soul died. Lucius told me the other day that I'm not the same Narcissa he married and I couldn't help but laugh. Of course I'm not the same, and I doubt I ever will be again. Losing one's soul mate and very best friend in the entire world really take a toll on a person, I've found. It's been a year since I smiled last, and I feel so horrid about that.

Draco misses you something fierce. When I go in to read him a bedtime story, he always asks when his Auntie Bewwa is coming home. And I have to kiss his forehead and tell him that I just don't know, that maybe if we wish really hard on a star, you'll be back. Tonight he asked me if you would be here for his fourth birthday and after I promised that I'd find out and kissed him goodnight, I cried in the hallway for a good half-hour. Lucius wants to use Polyjuice Potion and one of your hairs from your brush, but I don't think I could survive that.

I'll write to you soon darling, Draco is crying and I have to make sure he's okay. I love you so much, and I want you to know that you're always in my thoughts.

Love until the end of time,  
><em>Cissy<em>


	4. Eighteen Months

**Disclaimer: I sadly don't own Bella, Cissa, Lucius, Draco, Azkaban, or really anything you recognize.**

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><p>My darling Bella,<p>

I am such a bad person. It's been six months since I last wrote you and I feel like a hippogriff's arse! Life's been moving so fast here; between trying to keep up with Draco and healing Lucius after he comes home from where ever he goes to relieve his stress, I've been so busy I can hardly breathe. I find myself wandering the gardens aimlessly, thinking about you and the way we used to sit under that big oak tree and read to each other. I can't bear to read anything you and I used to read, so I just stopped. I can't read anything without thinking of you.

I made a new friend while I was walking a few weeks ago. He's a very affectionate peacock that I named Dynamite, in honor of your propensity for blowing the poor birds up. He follows me everywhere and I find myself talking to him about you a lot. I'm sure that's a sight to behold. Narcissa Malfoy, society wife of the very important Lucius Malfoy and mother of the always adorable Draco Malfoy, sitting there talking to a bloody peacock. I wouldn't believe it unless I saw it, and /I'm/ the one having conversations with the damn thing.

Love for always,  
><em>Cissy and Dynamite<em>


	5. Two and a Half Years

**Disclaimer: I sadly don't own Bella, Cissa, Lucius, Draco, Azkaban, or really anything you recognize.**

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><p>My most wonderful Bella,<p>

Please, please, PLEASE forgive me for not writing! I can't believe I let a whole year go by. Life's been so hard, so full of heartache. You won't have heard from anyone else as I didn't tell anyone, and I don't really want to say it, but I have to tell someone before my mind implodes. So bear with me, this is hard to say.

You have a niece. Lydia Bellatrix Malfoy was born three months, four days, six hours, and seven minutes ago. She was perfect, with gorgeous blue eyes and a head full of downy blonde hair. She was the most glorious little angel I'd ever seen, so it only made sense to use your name. But she . . . she didn't stay with us very long. She left me three months, four days, two hours, and forty-seven minutes ago. It was the second hardest moment of my life, topped only by watching you being dragged off.

I miss you so much, I wish you were here to hold me as I cry. Instead, I have to settle for a pillow and your favorite blanket. Bella, please come home. I need you so bad.

Love eternally,  
><em>Cissy<em>


	6. Two Years and Eight Months

**Disclaimer: I sadly don't own Bella, Cissa, Lucius, Draco, Azkaban, or really anything you recognize.**

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><p>Dear Bellatrix,<p>

I'm so mad at you I can't even see straight. Your nephew learned more from you than I thought. I'm still so angry I can't stand it.

He blew up Dynamite.

Loving you as always but fuming mad right now,  
><em>Cissy <em>


	7. Two Years, Eight Months, and Three Days

**Disclaimer: I sadly don't own Bella, Cissa, Lucius, Draco, Azkaban, or really anything you recognize.**

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><p>My dearest Bella,<p>

You're /so/ lucky. Dynamite is fine, Draco didn't get him. But let me tell you, I nearly throttled that boy when I thought he'd wiped out my peacock.

Lucius had to hold me back a lot which, as you know, is a turn on. So we wound up having a lot of angry sex. I do have to thank you for that when you get back. We've discovered positions we didn't know existed. Like, did you know that if you put your foot on . . . Yeah, I'm not gonna go there . . .

Love and gratitude forever,  
><em>Cissy<em>


	8. Three Years

**Disclaimer: I sadly don't own Bella, Cissa, Lucius, Draco, Azkaban, or really anything you recognize.**

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><p>My darling sister,<p>

It's your birthday today, the third you've had since you've been gone. I just wanted you to know that we're having a roast for dinner, and I made a German Chocolate Black Forrest Cake, just like every year. And just like every year, I'll wind up eating it myself because even though you ask for it, you don't like chocolate cake. You just like making me work.

I thought I saw you today, in Hogsmeade. It took me twenty minutes to stop crying in the alley between Gringotts and the Owl Emporium when my brain caught up with my heart. I miss you so much Bella, I really do. I'll write you soon, I just heard Mother and Father come through the door. I love you, birthday girl. Stay brave, okay?

Sending happy birthday wishes and loads of love,  
><em>Cissy<em>


	9. Four and a Half Years

**Disclaimer: I sadly don't own Bella, Cissa, Lucius, Draco, Azkaban, or really anything you recognize.**

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><p>My lovely Bella,<p>

Today was the hardest day yet. It's been four and a half years since you've been gone, and Draco's grown into a fine eight year-old. But he looked at me today after I reprimanded him and he told me that he wished I'd been sent to Azkaban instead of his Aunt Bella, that he wishes I'd get the life sentence. It broke my heart, mostly because there are so many days that I think the exact same thing.

Wishing you were here to hug me,  
><em>Cissy<em>


	10. Six Years

**Disclaimer: I sadly don't own Bella, Cissa, Lucius, Draco, Azkaban, or really anything you recognize.**

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><p>My darling Bellatrix,<p>

Today is six years, can you believe it? I've been writing for six whole years, and still my mind won't accept that you aren't coming back. The fact that my one anchor is gone just won't settle. It's been six years and I /still/ think I see you on the street. I still feel my heart stop as someone laughs the way you do when you're pleased with yourself. I still freeze when I smell your perfume drift by on the breeze.

Bella, please stay strong. I'm being as strong as I can, but I miss my big sister. I love you so much.

Sending love and hugs for my best friend,  
><em>Cissy<em>


	11. Seven Years

**Disclaimer: I sadly don't own Bella, Cissa, Lucius, Draco, Azkaban, or really anything you recognize.**

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><p>Dearest Bella,<p>

Happy birthday again! This is the seventh now, isn't it? I made a German Chocolate Black Forest Cake for you, but Dynamite ate it all . . . I think he thoroughly enjoyed it, right up to the point where he looked like a great white ball waddling around. That bird really does remind me of you, arrogant strut and all. Maybe when you come home you can apologize for blowing up his friends, eh? I still miss you, hoping you're being strong and staying firm. I love you so much.

Love and giggles just for you,  
><em>Cissy<em>


	12. Nine Years

**Disclaimer: I sadly don't own Bella, Cissa, Lucius, Draco, Azkaban, or really anything you recognize.**

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><p>My Darling Bella,<p>

I kissed Draco's cheek today and watched as my little boy, who's not so little anymore, boarded the Hogwarts Express for the first time. As I watched the scarlet steam engine pull out, all I could think about was my first trip, and how so incredibly nervous I was. Remember how you held my hand and kept telling me that I was going to be okay, that you would always be there to protect me from ever being hurt?

Those simple sentences made me brave enough to face the Sorting Hat because I just /knew/ that no matter what, you'd always watch out for me. Bella, I miss you so much. I need my protector to be strong, okay? Just stay strong so you can come back to me safely. I love you, Bella.

Love forever and ever and ever,  
><em>Cissy<em>


	13. Nine Years and Seven Months

**Disclaimer: I sadly don't own Bella, Cissa, Lucius, Draco, Azkaban, or really anything you recognize.**

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><p>My Sweet Bella,<p>

I've debated with myself as to whether or not I should write you and tell you this or not, but the overwhelming sense of silliness I'm feeling decided for me, I s'pose. You remember that peacock I was telling you about? Dynamite, that cocky little fellow, the one who's become the closest thing I have to a best friend . . . Anyways, I thought I should write you and let you know that he's found love.

He's been so distant lately, so withdrawn and unavailable. Well as I was walking through the gardens today, I found out why. Lucius finally bought a new batch of peacocks and when he got them, he was shocked to see a pure black female, which I promptly named Bella. (I think you can see where this story is leading . . . ) Dynamite and Bella have been practically inseparable, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to have adorable grandpeacocks to spoil. As always, I love you more every day. Stay strong, I'll need your help raising the baby peacocks, okay?

Love and kisses for my best friend,  
><em>Cissy<em>


	14. Ten Years

**Disclaimer: I sadly don't own Bella, Cissa, Lucius, Draco, Azkaban, or really anything you recognize.**

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><p>My dearest Bella<p>

I miss you so much I can't breathe. It's been ten years today, ten whole years and I /still/ refuse to let my mind grasp that. It's become conscious decision as of late, my stubborn denial of your situation. I simply refuse to acknowledge that the only person to ever truly understand me is really gone. I just refuse. Lucius thinks I've officially gone insane. Who am I to argue with him? All I know is that I haven't left your room here at the Manor in a week and I can't bring myself to.

Your hairbrush is still where you left it, tossed on the vanity carelessly. Your traveling cloak is still hanging limp, waiting for its owner to come back and don it with the showy flourish you're known for. I can't even look at your bed without thinking I see your sleeping form splayed out there and tears always wind up splashing on my hands as I clutch at your blanket.

Be strong, my darling. Promise me that you'll be safe, and that you'll behave. When you come home I'll be waiting, as always.

Sending love and adoration to you always,  
><em>Cissy<em>

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